The Real Reasons You Hate Selling (And the Inner Work That Fixes It)
Your cursor hovers over the "publish" button. You've rewritten your promo offer or post too many times. Your chest tightens, your stomach knots, the usual work headache has arrived. That familiar voice whispers: "This sounds desperate. People will think I'm pushy."
So you close your laptop. Again.
So why the resistance to sales? The real reasons you hate selling? It has nothing to do with sales.
You don't need another sales script. You don't need to "niche down" again. You don't need one more framework.
You need to understand why your nervous system treats a simple promotion or business post like a threat to your survival.
It's not simply introversion, shyness or a personal deficit. It's a protective program running in your subconscious.
Your 'Sales Problem' Is an outdated programming Issue.
Here's an uncomfortable truth: 90+% of your thoughts and behaviour is driven by subconscious programming.
The vast majority of your decisions, reactions, and patterns aren't coming from your rational, strategic mind. They're coming from beliefs installed years... often decades... ago that have nothing to do with your current reality.
For business owners who "hate selling," the resistance isn't about sales at all. It's about the stories/code running underneath your well-intentioned strategy:
"Talking about myself is arrogant"
(Translation: I learned being seen is dangerous)
"If I have to sell it, it's not valuable enough"
(Translation: I don't trust my own worth)
"People will think I'm desperate"
(Translation: Needing things makes me weak)
"I'm bothering them"
(Translation: My needs are a burden)
< Insert that thing you tell yourself consistently... it sounds like your voice, but it's not. >
These aren't facts. They're not even based on current evidence. They're programming... and outdated programming at that. You've upgraded the device (grown up) but still using the old software.
The business owner who can't articulate their value isn't lacking marketing skills. They're running a subconscious program that says "don't take up space"; "you're not worthy", etc. etc.
The entrepreneur who freezes at pricing conversations isn't bad at sales. They're operating from a deeply embedded belief that "my time isn't as valuable as other people's."
And here's the kicker: You can read every sales book, take every course, hire every coach... but if you don't address the subconscious programming, you'll keep self-sabotaging in increasingly creative ways.
I know this because I've lived it.
The Sales Resistance I Refused to See
For 4 years, I taught LinkedIn lead generation. I was good at it; clients got results, made money, built audiences. But I kept noticing a pattern, it was strange at first; the tactics worked beautifully for some people and did absolutely nothing for others.
Same strategy. Same training. Vastly different outcomes.
The ones who succeeded weren't more skilled, talented or have more experienced. They were just... less blocked and had less resistance to putting themselves out there and trying something new.
They could post their offers without overthinking it. They could talk about successes and results without cringing or apologizing. They could ask for the sale without spiralling into self-doubt and self-sabotage.
Meanwhile, I was watching capable, brilliant entrepreneurs sabotage themselves in real-time; and I could see why, yet this wasn’t the type of coaching they signed up for.
Then I realized I was doing the exact same thing. It’s funny how others can reflect your own behaviours to help you see them in yourself.
I could teach lead generation all day. But when it came to selling my own high-ticket offers? I'd freeze. I'd undercharge. I'd over-deliver to the point of resentment. I'd even ghost potential clients (not on purpose of course) when I got busy, because I wanted to help everyone, but I didn’t want to sell anyone a offer I wasn’t totally convinced they would accept.
On paper, I had the skills, qualifications, experience, etc. etc. In reality, I had subconscious blocks the size of a bus.
The breakthrough came when I finally asked myself: "What am I actually afraid of?"
The answer wasn't "rejection." It was deeper.
I was afraid that if people saw the real price of my value; if I actually claimed the worth I intellectually knew I had; they'd shut me down. They'd leave. They'd confirm a myriad of beliefs I had created and was programmed with at a young age.
These belief didn't come from my business. It came from being a young parent with no safety net, from working-class roots that taught me to be grateful for the basics, from a childhood that punished visibility.
None of it was true. But all of it was running my business.
So I did the inner work. Rapid Transformation Therapy (RTT). Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique (QHHT). Also Qualifying to practice these subconscious reprogramming modalities. Everything shifted; not because I learned new sales tactics, but because I stopped operating from fear and scarcity.
That's when I knew: The entrepreneurs who can't sell aren't lacking strategy. They're lacking self-trust.
And that's what we're about to explore.
The Four Hidden Blocks Killing Your Sales Mojo
Most people think sales resistance is a single thing to overcome. It's not. There are four main subconscious beliefs that block you from selling... and until you know the dominant one running your behaviour, you're just guessing at solutions. These are short summaries and don’t cover every variation, but you’ll get the gist.
Block #1: The Self-Trust Gap
"I'm not enough yet."
You're constantly seeking external validation. You know intellectually that you're capable, but emotionally? You're waiting for someone else to confirm you're "ready." You’re looking for external ‘permission’ to sparkle and shine.
What it looks like: Endless learning. Constant course-buying. Perfectionism that prevents you from ever launching. Apologizing or permission seeking in your sales copy.
Where it comes from: Childhood or early career experiences where you learned your worth is conditional; tied to performance, achievement, or external approval.
Block #2: The Authenticity Fracture
"I have to be what they want me to be." ... "I must sell what's hot in my niche or market right now"
You've built an offer the market told you to build, and every sales attempt feels like lying... because you're selling something that isn't truly aligned with your core values, beliefs or who you are. Maybe you've copied someone else's offer or strategy that's "proven" to "bring in seven or even eight figures" but you can't seem to make it work for YOU.
What it looks like: Forcing yourself to show up. Dreading client work. Creating content that feels "off." It’s not resonating and it’s showing up in your body language. Attracting clients who drain you. You're going through the motions.
Where it comes from: Learning early that your authentic self wasn't acceptable; so you adapted, performed, and people-pleased your way through life. The performative persona you’ve spent years carefully crafting is leading to burnout and you don’t know why you’re constantly drained.
Block #3: The Clarity Fog
"If they don't just 'get it,' they're not my people." … “they clearly aren’t on the same level” …
You struggle to articulate your value in clear, simple language. You know you're good at what you do, but translating that into marketing copy and language anyone can understand feels impossible.
What it looks like: Vague positioning. Abstract descriptions of your work. Talking about what you do instead of what clients achieve. Attracting ‘tire-kickers’ (Humans with the same lack of clarity and decisiveness).
Where it comes from: This is often a protective mechanism. If you never clearly articulate your value, you never risk being truly seen; and therefore never risk rejection. The visibility catch-22.
Block #4: The Worthiness Wound
"Who am I to charge that much?" … “I don’t think they’ll see my value” …
This is the big one. You've internalized beliefs about money, worth, and "deserving" that keep you undercharging and overdelivering. Insert all the childhood beliefs about money and worth you’ve ever heard here! Money doesn’t grow on ....
What it looks like: Stating your prices and immediately justifying them. Discounting before anyone asks. Doing extra work for free. A financial ceiling you can't seem to break through.
Where it comes from: Scarcity programming. Cultural messages about humility. Learning that needing things or help from other humans makes you weak. Class conditioning that says "people like us don't get to have nice things like that."
Why Strategy Keeps Failing You
Here's what most business & marketing coaches don't, or can't, address:
Strategy without inner alignment is just sophisticated self-sabotage.
You can have the perfect offer, positioning, and funnel... and still not make sales if your subconscious is running programs that conflict with ‘success’. Have you even stopped to consider how you define success?
This is why some entrepreneurs seem to succeed "effortlessly" while others grind with minimal results.
It's not luck. It's alignment.
The ones who make it look easy aren't more gifted or talented; they're working without internal resistance.
I learned this the long-way, even thought I’ve been quite successful in a variety of roles.
Before lanching ALT workspace, I spent over three and a half years working at a private psychology clinic in mental health triage, then 4 years teaching LinkedIn lead generation, watching brilliant professionals and entrepreneurs sabotage themselves in real-time. Same strategy and tactics, vastly different outcomes.
The difference? The successful ones weren't necessarily more skilled, talented or smarter. They were less blocked.
And I was doing the same thing... teaching tactics while my own subconscious beliefs about myself kept me stuck undercharging, over-delivering, and avoiding sales conversations. Sure, I’ve helped numerous people since qualifying as a hypnotherapist, but avoided actually selling my skills, knowledge and expertise openly.
The breakthrough came when I stopped trying to "fix" my sales approach and started addressing the actual blocks: childhood programming about worthiness, working-class conditioning about money, early experiences that taught me visibility equals danger.
The moment I cleared those blocks? Everything shifted.
Not because I learned new tactics... even though I knew them all from marketing other peoples businesses for over a decade. But because I released the resistance and stopped fighting my outdated programming.
The Inner Work Method: From Resistance to Magnetic Attraction
What most business & marketing coaches aren’t aware of or can’t help with:
A brilliant proven strategy without inner alignment is just sophisticated self-sabotage.
You can have the perfect offer, the perfect positioning, the perfect funnel; and still not generate any sales if your subconscious is running programs that conflict with ‘success’; Regardless of how you’re choosing to currently define ‘success’.
This is why some entrepreneurs seem to succeed "effortlessly" while others grind themselves into the ground with minimal results. It's not luck. It's personal and professional alignment.
The ones who make it look easy aren't working less hard; they're working without internal resistance.
So how do you get there?
Phase 1: Uncover the Story
You can't change what you can't see. The first step is identifying the specific subconscious beliefs running your sales behaviour. Unfortunately, you can't strategize or 'talk yourself' out of unconscious or subconscious beliefs, until you understand, and integrate, the root cause.
This is where modalities like RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy) and QHHT (Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique) become an invaluable shortcut. They allow you to bypass the conscious mind's defences and access the root programming; often installed in childhood, early career, or even intergenerational patterns.
For example, when I did my own deep work, I uncovered a belief from before the age of seven.
No wonder I struggled to ask for what I really deserved or needed. My subconscious genuinely believed it would be 'not safe' to be visible or ask for anything. Once I saw that belief clearly; and recognized it was a seven-year-old's interpretation, not adult reality; I could reframe and dismantle it.
Phase 2: Rewrite the Programming
Awareness alone isn't enough. You need to install new subconscious beliefs that actually support the business (and life) you're trying to build.
This isn't affirmations or positive thinking. It's deep reprogramming at the level where your automatic behaviours operate.
New beliefs might include:
"My value exists independently of other people's opinions"
"Selling is serving, not convincing"
"I am allowed to be well-paid for my gifts"
"It's safe to be visible and seen,
”I’m human, not perfect and don’t need to be"
When these beliefs are installed at a subconscious level; not just intellectually understood, but felt or embodied as true; your behaviour shifts naturally. You stop forcing yourself to post. You stop overthinking pricing. You stop apologizing for taking up space or being an inconvenience.
Phase 3: Align & Execute
Now an aligned strategy can be designed or created that actually works.
With the internal blocks cleared, the strategies and tactics that felt impossible before suddenly feel... obvious. Natural. Even enjoyable. Imagine that, talking to people about what you offer actually being fun and energising.
You can articulate your value clearly because you're not fighting an internal belief that says you don't have any.
You can post and promote offers consistently because visibility no longer triggers a threat response.
You can have sales conversations without sweating because your subconscious isn't screaming "danger!, danger!"
I have to admit, I always hear the robot's voice from "Lost in Space" (a movie & TV series for those who don't remember it)… Danger Will Robinson, danger!
This allows decisive execution and feels like effortless success. Not that you don't do the work; but that you're no longer working against yourself.
Beyond "Fake It Till You Make It"
Let's talk about the advice that's probably made your sales resistance worse: "Fake it till you make it."
On the surface, it sounds reasonable. Project confidence even when you don't feel it. Act as if you're already successful. Fake the certainty and confidence until it becomes real.
But here's the problem:
Your subconscious knows when you're lying... and your body language gives you away to others.
And every time you try to "fake" confidence you don't genuinely feel, you're reinforcing the very belief you're trying to overcome; that you're not enough as you are… no high status role, fancy office, impressive title … just YOU!
Your nervous system can't be fooled. When you post that sales message while your chest is tight, knots in your stomach, the usual headache is looming, your body is screaming "THIS IS DANGEROUS." No amount of confident language or 'performing as if' changes that physiological reality.
So what's the alternative?
Genuine self-trust.
Not the performance of confidence, but the deep, unshakeable knowing that your value exists whether or not anyone buys or validates it. That rejection doesn't diminish you. That your worth isn't up for debate.
That kind of trust doesn't come from affirmations, mindset hacks or power poses.
It comes from doing the subconscious work to dismantle the beliefs that convinced you otherwise.
It comes from installing updated programming that aligns with who you actually are; not who you think you need to be to deserve success.
And when that trust is real? You don't need to fake anything.
You show up as yourself; messy, human, imperfect; and people buy.
Not because you convinced them. Not because you used the perfect script. But because authenticity is magnetic in a world drowning in performances and pretty actors.
Truth About Why You Hate Sales
You don't need to become a "better salesperson."
You don't need to learn more closing techniques or memorize more frameworks.
Clearing the subconscious blocks that make selling feel like betraying yourself releases the resistance.
Because the moment you stop operating from fear, scarcity, and unworthiness; the moment your subconscious genuinely believes "I am valuable, I am allowed to be paid well, and my visibility serves people"... everything changes.
Not because you've learned the new AI programs and tactics. But because you've finally stopped fighting yourself.
The market doesn't need you to be perfect. It needs you to be clear, aligned, and unblocked.
That's the work.
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If you're ready to do the inner work; if you're tired of surface-level strategy that doesn't address the real resistance; let's talk.
Download the self-assessment. See where your blocks live. And then let's build a personalised roadmap to clear them.
Because Sales or 'Selling' isn't the problem.
It's the background programs; the stories you're telling yourself that's the problem.
Scripts and Stories? Those can be rewritten.
Outdated background program code? Can be debugged!
Ready for your personalized breakthrough roadmap? Send me a message and let's explore exactly what's blocking your sales; and design the inner work that will finally set you free.
